film | Blunder woman

In MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND, Uma Thurman plays the most annoying superhero since the Wonder Twins and Gleek. She's G-Girl, a nondescript superwoman with a checklist of Supermannish superpowers — incredible strength, heat vision, the ability to fly, et. al. — that she uses to thwart superdisasters (runaway military missiles), combat supervillains (Eddie Izzard's Professor Bedlam), and wreak superhavoc on the average-joe ex (Luke Wilson) who superdumped her superass the moment he realized the superlovemaking wasn't worth putting up with her superneurosis. Yeah, I'm gonna wear out super in the story description cuz i sure as hell ain't gonna be usin' the word to describe the film.

You've heard of phoned-in performances? Well, My Super Ex-Girlfriend is a phoned-in movie: limp and listless with squandered potential all around, as if its writer — The Simpsons vet Don Payne — couldn't be bothered to explore the sly action-figures-have-feelings-too possibilities generated by its juicy screwball premise. In the two funny scenes, Thurman vandalizes Wilson's car (with a twist) and tosses a live shark through his bedroom window, and these bits flicker with a loopy imagination that momentarily encourages you to overlook that G-Girl is a vindictive, unlikeable shrew. And it doesn't help that the harmless, hangdog Wilson is the object of her seemingly non-stop rancor — or that he totally made the right decision in ending their relationship to return the affections of his cute co-worker (Scary Movie's Anna Faris), a nice gal who's decidedly not a psycho bitch. In a spectacularly uncomfortable pre-break-up sequence, Thurman hoists Wilson into the air and essentially forces him to join the mile-high club as they zoom through the city skyline, and his reaction to having sex at the speed of sound encapsulates the whole show: It should be crazy fun, but oh God, it isn't. D+